the businesses that you’re currently running like, what nature, what are they?

 

Randy Lyman  03:27

Well, currently, I’m only writing as an author and doing coaching, personal and corporate coaching, but at the…in the past, I was involved in automotive and truck differential repair and then parts distribution, and eventually in parts manufacturing and distribution. I sold all that 10 years ago, and then four years ago, I decided to write a book about all my experiences, and it took four years to make it an easy read that made sense, where people could make good use of the information. It wasn’t easy to do, but it was all based on my experience, and now I’m really proud of the way the books turned out. I had a good editor, and that helped a lot.

 

Manon Bolliger  03:41

And so what would you say, like, what was the shift? And how could you…what did you see in your day to day running these businesses when you had sort of the shift of perspective.

 

Randy Lyman  04:28

Well, first, I became aware of my anger and the emotions underneath of frustration and disappointment that was covered up by anger, and I was able to work through the layers of that by experiencing that pain at the deepest level. And now it sounds crazy, but to me, the only way to release our old emotional wounds is to find a way to feel them completely in real time today, feel the emotion, cry, the tears, scream. Uh, journal, breathe whatever it takes to move that energy. And then once the energy has been released from our…through our body, from our beingness, then our world changes. So I had a few large epiphanies, and those epiphanies helped me make the connection as a physicist, as a scientist, between cause and effect. So when I had the emotional release, then my physical world, of my relationships got better, and after seeing that a few times and making the connection, it really intrigued me, and that’s where my focus was. After I kind of figured that out, I just continued to dive into that connection.

 

Manon Bolliger  05:38

Yeah, yeah, that’s interesting. So do you think that the issue for a lot of the CEOs and people who run their companies…I mean, you know, there’s a lot of fear like, oh, I don’t want to talk to my boss. Or, you know, a lot of people say, some, you know, many of the CEOs are psychopaths. They certainly don’t have a great general reputation. Of course, there’s lots of exceptions, but what, what is it that? What do they do in general? If you I mean, I’m asking you to really generalize here. But what is the issue, and how do we change that culture? How does that happen? Like I don’t know if my question’s clear enough for you.

 

Randy Lyman  06:26

Your question is clear. There’s a few questions in there, but they’re great questions. So first of all, I had to realize that, and I had kind of insight into we’re more than just our mind and our body. We are spiritual beings on a human path, playing this game of life. And so if we only understand two of the three categories, everything fits into everything in the universe fits into the categories one of the three thoughts and information, our body in the physical world, and our emotions. So we focus on being intelligent and working hard, and we’re going to ignore our emotions. And in doing that, any old wounding that we have gets pushed down. But the law of attraction, which create co creates our reality every moment of every day. The Law of Attraction gives us the gift of irritations to remind us of what we have to feel and release. So I’m going to say that again, the irritations of people cutting us off in traffic, somebody being rude to us, somebody lying to us or stealing from us. Those are all gifts, if we are able to recognize the gift within the irritation, and then we can heal the underlying wounds. So if I go back to who I was 35 years ago, I was…I was not asking people do things. I was demanding people do what needed to be done for the business to succeed. Once I understood myself and got my own issues out of the way, and I understand other people that I learned to lead from a place of service to those who I led and a place of vulnerability, and let me explain. So service means I’m here to serve the group that I lead. If they just…if they feel like I’m here to be served, they don’t give a damn about me. They only care about themselves, and that’s okay. That’s human nature. So once they realize I’m here to help them succeed, they’re on my side, right? And when I show up and I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, I share, always share the glory. If so, if things work well, I give credit to everybody else. I never take credit for the success. I always take credit for the and the blame. Excuse me. I always take the blame for anything that goes wrong so that people feel safe. People know that I’m there to support them and help them win, and when they feel safe, they get along better. They don’t show up with their guard all protected, right? And they know that I’m there to help them succeed, then they’re going to get behind my ideas and when, when my ideas are culmination of the whole entire group’s ideas. I’m not saying I always do things their way, but I always ask for input. Now we’re doing this together. So they feel that they’re contributing to the cause. They feel that they’re acknowledged for who they are. They feel like they belong to the group, and they know that myself, as a leader, I’m going to help them succeed. They show up 100% and they’re behind the mission, and they’re making things happen. And as leaders, for me anyway, it was very, very scary to be vulnerable. It was scary to be compassionate. It was scary to admit that I didn’t know everything because I thought that I would lose control. Turns out the opposite is true.

 

Manon Bolliger  09:39

Yeah, and I think that what losing control is one of the pivotal things, is people have this misunderstanding that, you know, control doesn’t come from being inauthentic, in the sense of, you know, pushing your way through a system. It’s more like the more you’re leveling the playing field, the more you’re accepting of others, encouraging, you know, getting the bigger focus in focus. I think that that changes. You know, you don’t…you go more into trust. I you know, I only know it from a medical point of view, the trusting, you know, for healing, you have to kind of shift the idea of controlling your body to trusting its capacity to do well, you know, so, so it’s interesting that you’re mentioning that in a in business, yeah.

 

Randy Lyman  10:42

Well, we have to have the trust. But if I go to to science and engineering, power means the ability to get work done.

 

Manon Bolliger  10:50

Right.

 

Randy Lyman  10:50

And so if I’m a leader, that means I can’t get the work done by myself. I have to involve other people, and when I’m able to get the best from the group, then, that gives me power, not from a place of ego, but from a place of being able to accomplish. If my power only comes from my title, then that’s limited by the people who respond from a place of fear. But if my power comes from a place of cooperation and through the of the group, and through the group and coordination of everyone, coordination and cooperation of the group. Now my power is increased, and it’s not about my ego and me being right or winning or taking the credit. It’s about accomplishing what we need to accomplish. And so when, when I shift to the thought of my power comes from the involvement of the group and the buy in from the group and how happy everybody is to succeed, it’s a whole paradigm shift.

 

Manon Bolliger  11:48

Yeah, interesting. And, and do you find that in that model that, like, where do you put so called financial incentives? Because some people say, Oh, that’s what makes all the difference. My hunch is it’s not true. What is your experience with that? Then, how do you work with that?

 

Randy Lyman  12:10

First of all, my experience is that your hunch, your hunch, is that it’s not all about compensation. It’s absolutely not all about compensation. There’s three things people need before compensation. They need to be acknowledged for who they are as an individual, their skill sets, their personality, that they’re contributing. Then they need to feel like they’re contributing, because many people their lives don’t necessarily have meaning, and when they feel like they’re contributing at work that gives their life meaning, that makes them feel better about themselves, and then third, they need to feel like they belong to the group. So if I can acknowledge people for who they are on a more personal level that doesn’t give up my strength or my power or my respect, I can help people feel like they’re contributing. And that’s another form of acknowledgement, but, but it’s different than acknowledging them as an individual. So I can help them feel like they’re contributing that doesn’t cost me a thing. And then I can help them feel like they belong to the group by the way I interact with them, by the way I promote interactions, by the mood and the environment that I as a leader, create and nurture. So those three things cost the business nothing, and there’s so much more important than the money. Now I set up incentive based commission programs. I did that for 20 plus years. I had different incentive based programs, but they were not as effective as the personal touch. They were not as effective as my investment in time of interacting with people differently. That investment paid off, because now when the group bonds and the group knows, they listen to me, they feel like they’re a part of the business and they’re important. I don’t have to babysit them. They show up and they do their work and they enjoy their work. And now I got time back, so yes, I had to invest time to get there, but the return on investment of my time is huge.

 

Manon Bolliger  14:00

Yeah. Makes sense. Now, what do you do with or what is your philosophy towards people? Because, you know, in a small team to start with, often people have to wear several hats. Because, you know, as an owner or business operator, you can’t always have all the people there that, you know, the business requires, so at least I’ll explain how I do it. But I like, who’s better at writing, who’s better at on the phone, who’s better, you know, doing the technology, who’s better at this? I mean, you pick people that at least are present themselves as liking what they are good at. That helps. But when you’re doing this multi hat, start off, which is what a lot of us, you know, start with. How do you get the jobs that no one’s no one wants to do because they don’t identify with it. I mean, they don’t like it, or they don’t, you know, I think it’s different if they, if they think they’re not good, and that’s a mistake that is, you can counsel them into, you know, you’re you’ve actually done that wonderfully. But if they really don’t want something, how do you work with that in in a small team? I don’t know if you’ve had a small team before.

 

Randy Lyman  15:21

Yeah, I started with just me in 1982 I’ve built five different businesses. I’ve had to wear multiple hats. So a couple things happen. One is everyone is kind of pushed, and we see who does…it comes in this multiple one thing at a time. A scholar, essence or personality type does one thing at a time. A king and a warrior can do two things at a time. An artisan does five things at a time. They’re just they’re very good at that. So what I try and do is I cross train and I involve people. Hey, how’d you like to try this? And then I watch and I see, do they adapt? Do they enjoy adapting? If they do, then I take advantage of them enjoying adapting. If they don’t adapt, then I have to have a conversation and really dig and listen. What jobs do they like to do, and see if there’s a fit. So something that’s just natural and happens in any growth organization, typically, is turnover. It happens sometimes because the business grows to a level that’s beyond where that person is comfortable. If a person doesn’t want to work in a larger group of 6 or 10 or 20 people, or if the business becomes a little more professional, still personable. But if a little more professional, they don’t necessarily want that. They’re they like a little bit of chaos, and they’re comfortable in that, and the business grows beyond that. Then, then they move on, and you learn to do that gracefully with respect. And then also you just have people that don’t fit, and you have to have turnover. As long as we’re approaching those situations with caring and compassion and respect, then people understand. But we have to test the waters and see where people see who likes to do different jobs, and see what they like to do best. I’ve had some people that have been in six different positions in my company because they like the variety. I have some people who do one job and that’s all I want to do, and I let them do that job and they’re happy. So it’s a little bit of experimenting, and we can’t be attached to that person in that position forever.

 

Manon Bolliger  17:27

Right. Yeah, and I guess the more people feel that they’re there for the whole purpose of it, for the end result, then it’s easier to see the possibility of shifting when it’s necessary. You know, I, at least my experience. You know, the different hats that people have. We joke about it. Which hat are you sitting under right now? Because you have to have that kind of flexibility for, you know, small entrepreneurial businesses, for sure. So what I mean, obviously, you’ve just published this book. Do you want to maybe share? Because I didn’t get a chance to read it yet. What are the main things that people or that you’d like people to understand as a takeaway from your experience.

 

Randy Lyman  18:22

Well, life is always a challenge, of course, but there’s not as many rules as we’re told. So let me just start with the two rules that God and the universe have for us. The first one is when we respond to any situation from a place of love and caring with a focus on there’s going to be a good outcome to this, and I’m coming from a place of love and caring, I’m going to find a lasting solution sooner or later. And really that’s the only way we can find a lasting solution. We can’t force solutions and have them last. So the first is love/good wins. And then the second is God in the universe does not have expectations, does not judge us. All we have is the law of attraction. And the law of attraction mirrors the vibration of our thoughts, the vibration of our our actions, I mean, our how we treat our body and the physical world around us and the vibrations of our emotions. Now, our emotions are bigger than time and space, and that’s the complication. And the third category, or what I refer to as the third element, is our emotions. So we all want to be smart and we all work hard and we want to feel good, but we try not to feel. We avoid our emotions. And it turns out, the emotional part of our being is really the most powerful. So I explain the rules of the game. I explain that our thinking mind is never in the present moment. Emotions are bigger than time and space and no time. Do not know time at all. But the only way we can experience our emotions, to release all that old, unhealed energy that we hang on to subconsciously, is through our body in the present moment.

 

Commercial Break  20:09

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Randy Lyman  21:19

So our mind cannot be in The present moment. It can guide us through a meditation, through a tapping exercise, through breathing exercise, but ultimately, we have to be in touch with our physical body in the present moment, set the intention and be brave enough and willing enough to let the old emotions come through. Now in chapter seven, I talk about 14 different activities or exercises we can do to heal all emotions, but first I start with education and understanding. Then I share along the way, I share several of my stories, so people have some incentive, and it gives me credibility as a scientist and somebody who shares what I’ve gone through, people say, Okay, this makes sense. So once they understand and they say, I’m willing to try it, then I take them through some exercises and show them how they can let go of some old emotional energy and create more space for love and happiness and success in their life. And that’s kind of the book in a nutshell. So in this book, I share what’s helped me have a better life, and everything I write about I’ve experienced at least twice and many things, like 1000 times or more. And when I rewrote this book over the last four years, I had to re experience everything at a deeper level. So this comes from the perspective of a scientist, which I am, and from personal experience, and with a lot of proof that we could get into deeper later, but I’m 100% confident in what I share. And so what I share is the two rules to the game of life, and the first one is when we respond to any situation from a place of love with an intent of a good outcome and wishing everybody well and seeing the lessons in the situation, then we’ll find an answer. When we respond from a place of fear, we don’t find lasting answers from a place of fear, only from a position or a place of love. First rule. Second rule is, everything that we experience in life is reflection of us. That’s co created by the law of attraction. So the law of attraction, kind of like a mechanism God’s put in place for us here. Does not judge us. It responds to us, but it does not judge us. It does not have expectations. It says you think whatever you want to think, you do whatever you want to do, you feel whatever you feel, and I will reflect that back to you and create your world based on your thoughts, your actions and your feelings. So I explain that, and I explain it down to the quantum level, and with some really fun examples that are easy enough to understand, it’s not it’s not rocket science. And so people say, Okay, wait a minute, Randy, you’re a logical guy. You shared your stories, you share what works for you, and you tell us why? Now that people have an understanding, then my hope is that they’ll be willing to try some of the exercises I include in the book. And in chapter seven, I have 14 different exercises, breathing, tapping, gratitude, journaling, whatever works for somebody is fine. And so the idea is to help us get in touch with our body in the present moment, set the intent and let the emotional energy flow through in a place that’s at time and place that’s safe, so that people can see when I let this whole pain go, my physical world improves. So that’s kind of the book in a nutshell, and it’s about 200 pages. It’s a relatively easy read. Now, I think a lot of people will read it over and over again, because there’s some really deep concepts there that even I learn more from when I learn it when I read it over. But it’s an easy read, it’s a fun read, and my my goal is to help people find success. And hope and happiness.

 

Manon Bolliger  25:01

It sounds very intriguing, definitely, what, what’s your personal biggest aha, like the obstacle that you got over that you know really impacted you the most.

 

Randy Lyman  25:19

Well the biggest one was a wound that a family member said to me when I was 17 years old. They said, I wish you were more like your friend, John. What they meant was, I wish I could connect with you better. I love you and I wish I could connect. And that’s not what I heard. What I heard is they disapproved of me, and that drove me to success, competence and financial success, because I wanted to prove myself and earn their love. Okay. When I finally broke through and felt that old wound and released it, that was my first big epiphany, and I describe all that in the book, and it made the connection between cause and effect, the cause of emotional healing and my physical world getting better. So that was a real big one. And then recently, just as as just a little over a year ago, I got in touch with shame. Now here’s what’s really funny. What’s really ironic is I had shame about my own shame, and so I avoided it. And as men, as men, were taught not to have shame, not we’re just going to plow through everything. And so that was a big epiphany for me. And so that’s that’s the biggest learning. Was to see the actual results in my physical world from my personal release, and then blame is another big one. I grew up in a an environment, in a world where we just blame people when there’s a problem, it’s never my fault when I’m four years old, that worked really well. I could just make some noise and somebody took care of me. When I was 14 years old, it kind of worked, but when I turned 24 nobody wanted to hear me complain or me to blame, and that did not give me the ability to take charge of my own life, and still today, sometimes I fall back to blaming all this out here. This is the problem. It’s never outside. It’s always internal.

 

Manon Bolliger  27:10

Yeah, well, you actually this discussion reminds me a bit of what is his name? Chris Duncan. I don’t know if you are familiar with him. He’s from Australia. He wrote a book called You’re Not Broken, but it’s it in business, it’s almost like the emotional world, world, if you’re, if you’re not realizing, like, especially the first story you know that you shared with us, it’s like you’re you’re becoming successful, but with the wrong energy, with and so you’re not as successful as if that was dealt with, then you’re actually able to, because you’re, you’re trying to solve a problem that isn’t the real problem of the business, right? So it’s like, you’re, yeah, you’re not, you’re not aligned to the best love the business, because you’re busy with yourself, in a sense, you know.

 

Randy Lyman  28:09

And look at Herb Keller from Southwest Airlines. When he was alive. He was all about the people, acknowledgement, contribution, sense of family and belonging. And he built an amazing airlines with that approach. Now still there was there was financial statements, there was marketing budgets, there was training, all those things still existed, but that personal touch and that sense of family that existed within the airlines, that’s what took him to a place of success. And for me, when I was younger, I thought, well, I can’t be compassionate and be respected. And as I said, that’s not true when I am centered in myself from a place of understanding. I’m my soul, I’m my spirit, I’m bigger than my mind, I’m bigger than my body. And love is really powerful when I get to that place of understanding that we are bigger than our external bodies, and I interact with the soul within people like I’m speaking to you person to person, and we’re having a caring conversation. This isn’t just casual, this is relatively deep. We’re not…it’s not aggressive, but it’s deep. So when I can approach the people I work with, whether it’s managers, my boss, people I lead, and I can just be open, and I can have a caring conversation, and know that we are both bigger than our human component, and we’re both here to learn and to grow and to have this beautiful experience, Beautiful experience of human interaction, and I look for the beauty of the Spirit in every human interaction, including and especially in business interactions, then I attract the right people. It’s a transition. People who don’t belong have to leave the vendors and customers who don’t belong and they’re not in the vibration of compassion and caring and cooperation, they have to leave. But the wonderful thing is, when we hold that space of caring and compassion and that and seeing the God and the love and the light in the other people that we’re interacting with, that attracts beautiful replacements for the people and the organizations that did not belong, and the right people in the right organizations come along.

 

Manon Bolliger  30:25

Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. It’s because it’s all, it’s exposed and it’s natural, right? I mean, even the people who need to move on, it’s probably in their interest to move on. You know.

 

Randy Lyman  30:40

iIf some place are more comfortable, so if the energy gets higher and higher, people who want to complain, people who are stuck in their misery, because that’s their life experience, let them have their life experience. I’m not here to change them, but let them move on with respect, and they’ll find some place they feel more comfortable, and let them have that experience and just know and trust the right person will replace them. Now I’ve, I’ve hired a couple 1000 people in my lifetime, and when somebody leaves, like a really, really important position, the key position I’m dependent on, scared me at first, that as I went through it two or three times, then I just know the universe, and I say, God, but people can call it whatever they want, whatever’s bigger than us. It’s bigger whatever is bigger than us. That guides this amazing human experiment. When I trusted somebody better is going to come along for the situation, for the situation, for the job, for the position, every single time somebody better came along, a better customer, a better employee, a better bookkeeper, a better whoever it was, a better supplier. And that was my faith, because I just at first, it was a guess. First it was hope, and then as it happened, more and more, my faith grew, and as my faith grew, then the universe said, Oh, you believe in me. You ready for me to help you? Okay, I’m here. I’ll help you. And but that was scary to go down that path when I was in my 20s, and everything I owned was in my business, and if my business failed, I had to start over from nothing, and I failed. That was scary, but somehow I found the faith, and I tried it, and I experimented, and my faith grew and every time I was rewarded, my faith was rewarded when my focus was on what is best for everybody involved, and I showed up from a place of love and caring, and the answers came to me.

 

Manon Bolliger  32:36

Interesting, yeah, I think there’s a definite parallel now that we’re talking about this, that I can see, you know, I had a time in my business when everything was becoming, you know, technology, right? You had to have the website that showed all the programs and the courses and all this. And I had a wonderful person, you know, helping to do all this and through something that was personal to her experience didn’t have anything directly to do with me, but she was gone. She did that was it no warning, and I found myself a whole month sitting in front of a computer, facing the monster I never wanted to see. I didn’t want to learn any of that stuff, none of it. I was happy being the teacher and creating the courses and all of that power and teaching them, but not doing the technology anyway. So I was huge learning curve. But like you said, after that, the right person came that, and I was able to be clearer in my instructions, because I actually understood the system right. And so then I thought, Okay, this is fantastic, until I found absolutely the best person, and she’s still with me. You know, who she understood that I wanted to understand all of it and to stay there, but until it’s like, okay, I can now relax, because we’ve created that dynamic where, you know, I know she knows what she’s doing, and you know, I can still ask sometimes questions that provoke, you know, new discussions. But it’s really like, felt like the path I had to go through, you know, and it’s…

 

Randy Lyman  34:37

Our souls. Our souls use those experiences for us. So we have free will. Our personally personality has free will and can make choice. Those choices can be overridden by our soul’s path for us and our soul’s goals, and those can be overridden by God as to what’s best for everyone involved. So when we have a detour on a trip. And I talk about this, I actually use this example in the in the book, a detour on a trip. Then we’re not happy about the detour in the moment, because our personality doesn’t know all the choices our soul has made. But once we surrender to it, we say, Okay, I have to take this detour. I’ll make the best of it. We learn what we need to learn. We the surrender helps us get through sooner, and then we get the lesson, and we say, Oh, now it all makes sense, but that’s just part of being human, is things aren’t always easy, because they’re not supposed to always be easy, right?

 

Manon Bolliger  35:35

You know, I think I’m going to leave it there our time is up, but that’s such a perfect message at the end, like I’m gonna leave you with that message, and again, the name of your book one more time?

 

Randy Lyman  35:47

The name of the book is The Third Element.

 

Manon Bolliger  35:49

Okay.

 

Randy Lyman  35:50

And I don’t know if I got the camera right there or not, The Third Element. And it’s available through my website, at randylyman.com it’s r, a n, d, y, l, y, m, a, n.com. There’s a link for the book, for some free offers, for some how tos, and it’s all about helping everybody out there find a way to have more faith and hope and take more chances and risks on doing good for themselves and everyone around them.

 

Manon Bolliger  36:18

Well, thanks very much for sharing your time with us.

 

Randy Lyman  36:21

You’re welcome, Manon, this has been wonderful. Thank you for having me on.

 

Manon – Key Takeaways  36:25

So in this interview, what was very interesting to me is that the way that you look at healing, for example, is very similar to how this man looked at business. You know it’s like. It’s not necessarily easy. It’s not necessarily the path you know you would choose at one point or another. But if you surrender to it, you go with it, you allow it to take place, and you stay connected to, you know, to your heart and and you know in the faith that you’re doing everything that you can in that direction, things tend to work, work out. So I always find it so fascinating to have these parallels between business and healing, because I’ve taken so many business classes, you know, just because they have the structure and all that. And in healing, it’s, it’s much less structured. But there’s really parallels that you can pull from both. And then another thing to notice is that there’s, it’s also relationship based. So you work with people in your organization the same way you work with clients. You know, if a client is not into taking a bunch of pills, then don’t go, don’t go the pill way. There are other ways, other therapies, other approaches, many doors to healing. So pick something that is better suited to that individual. And another peril too is not every patient is the right patient for you, right so sometimes you need to say, I remember a case where somebody desperately wanted to see me. They had heard about my reputation, and when they came in during the interview, I realized that the chiropractor that they were seeing at the time was really helping their condition. They just wanted to jump ahead and do something that that they had seen through a friend of theirs have a wonderful effect, which is, you know, Bowen therapy. But I said to that, to that patient, I said, you know, I’m not comfortable seeing you right now because you’re in the process of getting a treatment, and it looks like your body is in agreement with it, and you’re going in the right direction of healing. So why don’t we just wait and see this through, if you end up, you know, completely healed. Well, fantastic. That’s great. If there really is a stagnation or you’re not going anywhere, then let’s start, you know, and you can, we can work together, and we’ll try a different approach, different therapy, and see how you do with that. But let’s not mix the two. More is not better. Mixing is not better. You know, let’s, let’s actually see how, how things evolve. So sometimes, therefore saying no to a client or to a patient is is important. And if it makes sense, you know, if it doesn’t feel like it’s right for whatever reason, I mean, share your reason, ideally. But I think that level of transparency is really important, all right, so those are my comments for today, and on the interview I just had with Randy Lyman.

ENDING: 41:33

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