How to be Happier using the Happiness Formula
with Anil Gupta, ND on The Healers Café with Dr. Manon Bolliger, ND
In this episode of The Healers Café, Dr. Manon Bolliger, ND, chats with Anil Gupta who is a world expert on relationships and mindset.
Highlights from today’s episode include:
Anil Gupta (16:15):
And human beings grow the most when they’re uncomfortable. So the secret is get uncomfortable and be comfortable about being uncomfortable. And whenever you’re comfortable know that that’s not the best place to be. You have to get uncomfortable about being comfortable. And that gives you the biggest growth. And when you grow, it’s compounded all sorts of beautiful things happen for you. And it’s how you show up to coupled with being so amazing saying yes, helping people, serving, serving, serving another important thing is you have to have pure intense. If you have pure intent, it works so much faster because people will know that you don’t have pure intent. You’ll know your vibrational energy is online.
Anil Gupta (20:30):
when you say yes, it means that you’re saying no to something that could help more people. When you say no to something you’re saying yes to something else.
Anil Gupta (34:35):
You don’t have to react, but to respond. And that’s the secret people are reacting and the secret is to respond.
About Anil Gupta:
Our next speaker is a world expert on relationships and mindset. He has coached some of the most famous celebrities on the planet like Mike Tyson, top athletes and CEO’s, as well being a guest speaker with Richard Branson on Necker Island. He enjoys helping people overcome obstacles that prevent them living a fulfilled life and has appeared on stages all over the world and recently was keynote speaker in Medellin in front of 10,000 raving fans. He has appeared at Harvard on a number of occasions and is a guest speaker on Fox news as well as best selling international author of Immediate Happiness. His Ted talk shares his Happiness Formula. If you want to have a dramatic impact on your life please
About Dr. Manon Bolliger, ND:
Dr. Manon is a Naturopathic Doctor, the Founder of Bowen College, an International Speaker with an upcoming TEDx talk in May 2020, and the author of the Amazon best-selling book “What Patient’s Don’t Say if Doctors Don’t Ask.” Watch for her next book, due out in 2020.
About The Healers Café:
Dr. Manon’s show is the #1 show for medical practitioners and holistic healers to have heart to heart conversations about their day to day lives.
Follow us on social media! https://www.facebook.com/thehealerscafe
Dr Manon (00:01):
So welcome to The Healers Cafe. And today I have with me, Anil Gupta who used to be an optometrist, let me tell you a little bit of everything he’s doing right now, and then we’ll turn it to you. So, first of all, he is a world expert on relationships and mindset, and he has coached some of the most famous celebrities on the planet like Mike Tyson, top athletes and CEOs, as well as being a guest speaker with Richard Branson on Necker Island. He enjoys helping people overcome obstacles that prevent them living a fulfilled life and has appeared on stages all over the world. And recently was keynote speaker in……….in front of 10,000 raving fans, he has appeared at Harvard on a number of occasions and is a guest speaker on Fox news, as well as best-selling international author of immediate happiness, his Ted talk shares his happiness formula. well, I’ve got tons of questions for you, but let’s start with what happened. So your trained as a optometrist……..then…..
Anil Gupta (01:28):
So I was practicing. And I lost a little bit of enthusiasm. Then a friend of mine, actually it was a cousin of mine and he never calls me ever. And I thought, why is he calling me? You know? And we were just talking and then it came to the crunch. He said, well, you know,I just did this event and I’d like you to come. I said, well, what are you talking about? And he said, well, it’s only 200 yards away from your practice. I thought, you know what? I’ll come. It’s not a big deal. I come up to work. So I attended this event and it was amazing. And then I did some more events and I sort of got into it. And I had never experienced a seminar before coaching.
Anil Gupta (02:08):
And, it gave me my enthusiasm back. And then one day my wife went to another event in the USA. She came back and said, look, honey, we have to move. I know exactly where the kids are going to go. And this is where we’re going to live. ….. okay…. But I said, no. I said, you know, we’re not doing this. because……we were comfortable as human beings. We love to be comfortable. But eventually I realized that she was right. And if I didn’t move now, my kids were nine and 11. We would never move. So we did move. And then from that, I had to buy a business to get a status in the USA. But then something happened in 2008. I lost everything on the stock market, real estate, everything went to pieces and I wasn’t feeling good. And I was suicidal, I didn’t really want to live, but I wouldn’t even eat with a knife just in case I did something stupid.
Anil Gupta (02:58):
Even now when I overlook a tall building, I get very nervous, but something happened to me because in that moment, I realized that it was something to do with my identity. My identity was around money and that’s not who I internally felt like. So I started doing events. I started helping people with events. I did first event with six people, 10 20, 50 ,100, and eventually i spoke in front of 10,000 people. So it was a transition, but I’ve always been coaching even in the practice. But I hadn’t realized it was coaching because people would ask me for advice. I would give them the advice they would come back. So that was amazing. I said, of course it was, it was so obvious. But now I realize that it was obvious to me because, you know, I have a gift in that area, but it wasn’t obvious to them. And that’s how the transition happened. You could say I had a vision that I could see more clearly because of my optometry.
Dr Manon (04:01):
I know i was waiting for it to drop. That’s funny. And it’s not a 20, 20 vision, of course not. Well, interesting. I mean, the transformation is interesting. Also the self realization some times you’re doing one thing and you realize in doing that………………………..I mean, optometrists have their place. They help people.
Anil Gupta (04:35):
Oh, absolutely. my daughter is studying to be an optometrist herself. So you know, it’s, it’s a beautiful profession.
Dr Manon (04:42):
How did you want to even go into the healing at all? Like just into it, the healing profession?
Anil Gupta (04:52):
well, I’m Indian, you know that So all, all our parents want us to be doctors. So,I wanted to be a doctor, but I realized that, you know, I don’t like blood and I sometimes don’t do well under medical situations. panic a little bit. So I thought, perhaps that’s not the best thing for me. So I took a year off and then I happened to have
a problem with my eyesight and the optometrist said, why dont you study this? I said, what are you talking about? So don’t know this is a job. Yeah, it’s a job. And it was medically related. And I thought, well, this is not so bad. And that’s how I got into it. And it’s a beautiful profession Very well respected and there’s no blood.
Dr Manon (05:47):
So you got away with the the parents part.
Anil Gupta (05:50):
Well, they didn’t quite like it, but, you know, I was very adamant because, you know, I do whatever I’m going to do, but they supported me.
Dr Manon (06:01):
And now you’ve got red in the heart. Now you’ve got it on your shirt. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So, let’s talk about this gift, that, and again, you know, it’s, it’s interesting that you share this often. We don’t recognize what are our natural gifts, but if you are helping people and you’re still helping people you know, you came to realize it because you’re stating obvious things to you, but not so obvious. So tell me a little bit more about like, you know, examples of that or what you, how you came to, to recognize that.
Anil Gupta (06:52):
So, for example, someone, a couple would come to me and they’ve had maybe five or 10 years of therapy and then just one session, they said Anil That’s amazing. We’ve got so much just from this one call that we’ve had in the last 10 years. So if anyone’s out there and you do something that you find so easy, other people find hard, that means that’s your gift. And then, it just kept on happening……….I said, Hey, you know, what, don’t you do this? Or why don’t you do that? Well, this goes here and this goes here. And if you let go of this, this goes, you know, so I can see everything in advance. And I see greatness in people, way beyond. They could see that in themselves. And I have a belief in them that they don’t have a belief in themselves. And it’s a transition because it takes awhile, you have to go through the imposter syndrome, why would anyone pay me money for something that’s so easy? So it’s a process. You have to go through that process. And the process involves awareness, awareness of how you’re showing up awareness about your intent and your gift. And you get this equivalent to genius to, but people find it uncomfortable to say genius.
Dr Manon (08:05):
I do think that awareness is part of it because you know, you overcome different things. Anytime you shift in your life, you overcome, you overcome things, but when you shift within your self perception there’s a lot of imposter syndrome, a lot of things that really can keep you, you know, acting small and I’ve often found in just, you know, in my community of people who are healers in one way or another, whether they’re medically trained or are doing different healing arts, often they have more gifts as well. And, you know, we tend to go channeling down. This is what we do. This is what defines us. And with this COVID, you know, current situation what’s been interesting is it’s, it’s caused quite a stir in I’m not any more who I am not in myself, but in, you know, many of the people I’ve talked to, it’s like, I’ve lost my self identity because they they’ve really bought into that their profession is all of them.
Anil Gupta (09:29):
And the beautiful thing about this is it stops them thinking the way they’ve been thinking. Now, what they have to do is ask a better quality question. Okay, this has happened. What am I really, really in love with doing, why haven’t I done that? You know, how do I want to be remembered? What is I call this my highest and best use? What is your highest and best use minus speaking, coaching content, I should not be doing anything else. So if you’re a healer out there, and if you ask yourself which part of the healing process gives me the greatest joy, which gives me the greatest impact and then reverse engineer that and work backwards and find out, well, you know, it’s so obvious, but sometimes we do things because of the financial reward or we feel that it’s the right thing to do, but listen to your heart, listen to the emotion, you get the beautiful emotion, the happy emotion you get when you do something that you love and follow that path. And I promise you, it’s such an easy path but you have to have that awareness and no attachment, no expectation and just see things as they are.
Dr Manon (10:45):
That sounds a bit like happiness.
Anil Gupta (10:49):
it’s better than happiness. it’s called fulfillment. Happiness is external. Fulfillment is internal. Motivation is external. Inspiration is internal. So if you get inspired and you follow the path of what you love to do, it will lead to fulfillment.
Dr Manon (11:08):
So let’s go on. I want to go on with your journey and and so you now over what a year or two years, a few years, you start to discover through feedback that what’s obvious to you, isn’t obvious to others, and you realize that you, love to share this. Yeah. What then happens, like what you follow your heart and you know, and this is a stumbling block for so many people, well, follow my heart. How am I going to do it? you basically make your plan with your limited belief and your limited experience, and then nothing changes. And you still have this, you know, this two part, at least two parts of it what was the process that, that catapulted you forward? Like, how did you, how did you achieve this?
Anil Gupta (12:16):
Well, you know the one sentence changed everything for me. May I share it?The sentence is this “be so amazing that you cannot be ignored? And if you are ignored, it doesn’t matter because how you show up will be this magnificent. So be so amazing…… came from Steve Martin, but he said, be so good. But yeah, I upped it a little bit and I added my little bit at the end. So if you’re out there, just say, look, this isn’t about me. It’s about the difference I make. Every day, I delay not spreading my wings, not showing my gifts. Someone is suffering. So you, you meet, we all have to get out of our own way and realize that we’re just a conduit. And by, you doing that and letting go of the ego and the fear of what other people think will give you the freedom to show up the best version of you.
Dr Manon (13:16):
I definitely agree that you have to even like public speaking, you get out of your own way to be able to dare to share, because you realize that what you share is more important than any little bit of trepidation anxiety, you know, it’s, it’s where you put your focus. It makes a huge, a huge difference, but let’s go step by step. How you did you end up in front of the, you know, a huge audience? How did you end up meeting all these people? Like, this is such a, you know, if you think from an optometrist and also with the mindset of, you know, you need from parental guidance, which is quite, quite prominent in the Indian culture, but, you know, you need to be this. And then, what are the aspects that moved you that, that you learned on this journey?
Anil Gupta (14:17):
So i did one thing that changed everything, and that was give in the moment you give authentically all the pain and suffering disappears, and then you feel amazing. So I started to give, give, give, I felt better and better and better. And then things came to me and I couldn’t work out. Why? Because, you know, I didn’t know what was going on. Then later on, I realized, Oh, my vibrational energy change, how I showed up, changed how I spoke, changed…….. The fear disappeared. And I started being more aware, better listening, you know, serving people and having met Richard Branson. One of the things he coached me on was this, you said, Anil always say yes and work it out afterwards. So this opportunity actually, what happened was my son spoke in front of 9,000 people in Los Angeles.
Anil Gupta (15:15):
And I got a little bit upset. I said, how can he speak to 9,000 people before me? I’ve got to do something about this. So within a month I had an opportunity to speak in front of 10,000 people. And I got offered And I said, yes. And I was thinking, what have I done? What have I done? And but the thing is, when you say yes, in that moment, it’s very uncomfortable. And human beings grow the most when they’re uncomfortable. So the secret is get uncomfortable and be comfortable about being uncomfortable. And whenever you’re comfortable know that that’s not the best place to be. You have to get uncomfortable about being comfortable. And that gives you the biggest growth. And when you grow, it’s compounded all sorts of beautiful things happen for you. And it’s how you show up to coupled with being so amazing saying yes, helping people, serving, serving, serving another important thing is you have to have pure intense. If you have pure intent, it works so much faster because people will know that you don’t have pure intent. You’ll know your vibrational energy is online. Yeah. And again, you have to be ready to say, yes, you know, it is scary. I promise you it’s scary going on live TV for an hour with no interviewer. It’s scary. But yeah, it’s, it’s a service,
Dr Manon (16:51):
I picked up when you started talking at the beginning, you said, yes. And then you said, no, which for the moving. Right. And then you, you, you shifted that to, yes. If you don’t do it, you know, you won’t do it. And I think, you know, we’re as healthcare practitioners often, there’s, there’s this belief that we say yes, too much as in we have no boundaries that contain our own our own self care or own our own….. Protection really, but yeah. I guess our own ability to monitor our self care. And yet that yes. Is what propels forward. So have you any insight ?
Anil Gupta (17:48):
Yeah, absolutely. So This is what happens. Healers are very good at giving,
Anil Gupta (17:57):
But they are very bad at taking now I ask people, are you a great giver? They said, yes. And then ask, are you a great taker? They say, no. I said, well, you know, that’s your problem? What do you mean? Say, look, you’re a great giver, but it’s not that you’re a great, you’re not a great taker. You’re not a great receiver. You see, your problem is you think if some, if you take something in, it’s a take, but it’s not, it’s a receive. So let me give you an example. Suppose you have $10 million in your bank account, and every day you have to give $1 million a day away. How many days could you do that for.
Dr Manon (18:43):
If you have 10 million.?
Anil Gupta (18:45):
Okay. Now, if you have 10 million in your bank account and you have to give a million dollars a day away and it, but someone puts a million dollars or more in your bank account, how long could you do that for Forever? Yeah. So you’re giving, but you’re also receiving. And the thing is when you receive your capacity to serve others increases. So that’s the distinction I want people to know. So let me give you another example. So manon you’re a great giver. Supposing you gave me a gift and I said to you, well, no, you know what? No, no, no, no. I’m denying you the gift of giving to me, you know? So it’s a negative energy too…..Absolutely. Once you’re aware of this, be gracious in the gift.
Dr Manon (19:42):
I think you’ve really covered. Well, the, crux of so many practitioners are in that the have that concept, you know, that they’re taking and it’s really not the way it’s not an energetic concept. It doesn’t work like that. You And I love the fact that you tied it into the banking.
Anil Gupta (20:10):
And then you realize the impact you can make. the other thing about people who are great carers and healers is that they find it difficult to say no…… Let me help them with this. If you, if people ask you to do something, but you don’t want to do, when you say yes, it means that you’re saying no to something that could help more people. When you say no to something you’re saying yes to something else. So when you say, no, you’re not Denying the person, you’re just denying the offer.So if I said to him ……look……will you come and do this? It’ll impact 10 people. And then someone says, Hey……. Come let’s impact a hundred million people. If you said yes to the person who helps 10 people, you could say no to the person who says, look, we can help a hundred million people. So when you say no to someone, you’re not saying no to them, you’re saying no to the offer.
Dr Manon (21:23):
And I think in that sense, it’s like time, time is on some level, the most precious thing we have. So we have to look at how we want to use that time. And if we’re coming from the desire to give it’s like, how can we give most …..more and you know, use our energy. But so I think that’s a very good demonstration of that point. Let me see. I must have a million questions.
Anil Gupta (22:08):
So I mean, clearly one of the most difficult times was when you were yourself depressed and suicidal, because I mean, it doesn’t really get much worse than, that. Right? Can you bring us a bit through that? The experience and, really the turnaround. You summed it up,……… but can you share really all that It took to go through that because right now, so many people worldwide are suffering. Depression rates have gone up. Anxiety has gone up. Suicide rates have gone up. People are in pain. You know, and some people’s livelihood. I mean, many people’s livelihood has come to an end. So I’m looking at a bigger understanding of this process from all your experience.
Anil Gupta (23:05):
So I’ve had to break the news to my wife. So I said, honey, I have some news to tell you I said, look, you’re not going to like what I’m going to say. She said, what is that? I said, look, I’ve lost everything on the stock market, real estate. We’ve lost the house, the car, the school fund, everything. And then she looked up at me and smiled. And that was not the reaction I was expecting. So honey, did you hear what I said? So yeah, I did. I didn’t get it. She said, honey, you’ve been behaving strangely recently. I knew something was wrong, but I thought you had cancer. I thought you were dying. I don’t care about the money. As long as we’re all together, we’re sleeping in the street. If we have to. And then she hugged me and said, it’s okay. And I felt peace. Then we started to give, so if anyone seen any pain or suffering right now, I urge you to do one thing, give acknowledge someone, thank. Someone do something for someone else. It doesn’t have to be anything monetary say, thank you.
Anil Gupta (24:08):
People will always remember how you made them feel. And by this small act, you will start feeling differently. And then through this, I developed a formula for happiness, which is the 3,GGG. The first G you have to give the second G is you have to be grateful for what you have. So if you look at your hands, when was the last time you thanked them, most people haven’t thanked their hands ever, but they’ve done these things. I’ve done everything for that.
Anil Gupta (24:39):
So focus on what you have and don’t focus on what you don’t have. I was focusing on what I didn’t have. And I had the gold, the diamonds in my kids and my wife. And the third is you have to grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. Now, if you’re upset things that aren’t going for wealthy, I promise you one of those three GS is at a much lower level. What do you have to do is identify the lowest G and work on that. That will give you a way to get from a lowest score to a high school very quickly. And it’ll allow you to get clarity very quickly, because you’re probably overwhelmed. You think of what do I do? What do I do? This will calm you down. This will slow it down. It’ll give you clarity. It’s incredibly powerful.
Dr Manon (25:32):
The three GS is first is gift,. Second one gratitude, and the third is grow , And then to look at which one is the weakest link, which one you haven’t done as much and then work on that piece to to expand.we talk a lot about gratitude and that’s very important, but I love that…..you talk also about grow because grow, isn’t always easy necessarily. You have to look at what, what needs to grow? What part of me? What, what is that? Is it maybe my, way of seeing the universe is that, you know, because the other two are to give, once you realize that it’s, it’s fairly easy, there’s always a way to give. There’s always a way to remember, to be grateful for what one has but grow. Let’s go into that one a little bit.
Anil Gupta (27:04):
So very powerful. And that’s why we talked about adversity or being uncomfortable when you’re uncomfortable. That’s when you grow the most. And that’s the powerful thing about adversity. Adversity can be your friend because it gives you an opportunity to grow. So I can almost guarantee that most people having issues right now are having issues with their emotional growth so that they’re focusing on the negative emotions. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I don’t belong. I’m not worthy. I’m a failure. I’m not successful. There’s something wrong with me. I’m not lovable, blah, blah, blah. And then what they do is they replay it and replay it. So for example, if I told you a joke, you would think it’s funny. But if I told you the same joke a hundred times, you would not think it’s funny. You think stop it. I don’t want to hear that anymore, but we as human beings will play the same story again and again and again and again, and again, and again, just to beat ourselves up, just to make sure that we stay in that mode. So, the secret is awareness. Awareness gives you clarity. Clarity gives you, focus, focus gives you action. Action gives you results. Results gives you momentum, which gives you everything. So no matter what’s going on in your life, you have an opportunity to change. You have to show up differently.
Dr Manon (28:30):
I agree with you. And, the thing is with the first step that you mentioned with RO and usually where, what you need to notice is the thoughts, right? And if you can just become aware of the thoughts, that’s already a first step that changes many things, it’s something simple that one can do, right? You look at thoughts and you go, gosh, every time I’m saying the same thing or whatever, you know, it’s yeah. I have a little thing that I tell, my clients and my people is, if you don’t, if you don’t like a thought and you’re repeating it, huh. So put it in a cloud and, and wish it away. And because we put so much value on our thoughts and lots of, I don’t think that the thoughts are worthy of that, you know, especially if they don’t make you feel good, like, you know, I’ve often felt that if the thought doesn’t make you feel good and you’re repeating It’s probably not true………and I’m not saying suppress your emotions or deny reality, we create reality. So if we constantly are thinking negatively, we can always find the proof of our negativity.
Anil Gupta (30:01):
So true. The other thing too, to be really cognizant of is this, if you have a negative thoughts, don’t resist. It just be an observer. I say, you know what? I feel a little bit sad today. That’s okay. But don’t live in that dwelling. All you have to do is change, focus on something else. So imagine a man and you have a good thought Wolf and a bad thought Wolf, which one is going to be more successful.
Dr Manon (30:40):
Well, I guess it depends what you do with them, right? what do you mean? Yeah.
Anil Gupta (30:46):
So people say, well, obviously the bad thought will fall. We’ll win. And I said, no. Then they’ll say, Oh, Obviously the good thought win and said, no, the Wolf that wins is the one that you feed. So if you have a bad thought and you keep on talking to this bad Wolf, he’s going to ….. He’s going to get attention. He’s going to get fed. But all you have to do is this, you know what, that’s the the bad Wolf , what am I committed to? I’m committed to being a good Wolf’s guy. So just start talking here and then this starts talking and then this takes over. So let me give you another example. you come home late at night, it’s complete darkness. You come into the house, you’ve flick the switch and turn the lights on. Yes. You don’t go in the house and remove the darkness. That would be ludicrous, but that’s what people try and do with their thoughts. They try and remove the darkness, but because they try and remove the darkness, it persists. That’s the secret failure, life and thoughts with acts of kindness, gratitude, and growing, and the darkness will disappear. It has nowhere to go.
Dr Manon (31:57):
I love your analogies. They’re so clear.
Anil Gupta (32:04):
Well, the thing is, when you’re teaching, I’ve got to be clear too. So this didn’t happen overnight.
Dr Manon (32:14):
Well, I’ll, I’ll I’ll reference you on a few of them. I think they’re brilliant. Okay. What else did I want to ask you? Yeah. Oh, well, this is interesting. you mentioned if you,……… about the thought that you’re sad, right? because I make a big distinction on the difference between our thoughts and our emotions.
Dr Manon (32:41):
And that’s where I say the thought the negative thoughts never serve you, but an emotion is something that for me, you just, you just allow……. You don’t, it has no, you have to go through it. If you say, Oh, it’s not happening. I’m not feeling this way. You’re I don’t know that it can really be suppressed. I think it goes somewhere else. The body will receive that information. And you’ll end up with something, you know, a back pain, headache, neck pain, like, you know, I think that we are a circuit. It goes somewhere. You can’t really repress or suppress anything. It just changes form But could you comment a little bit on how you see thoughts and emotions?
Anil Gupta (33:29):
So a thought creates the emotion. So for example, if you’re thinking about a narcissistic ex partner, the thought creates the emotion And then the, emotion can cause other issues. Then when you have that thought, you have the emotion, the question to ask yourself is wow, I’m feeling queasy. I’m feeling sad. I’m feeling nervous. I’m feeling upset. Great. Why is that? What caused that? What was the trigger? What was the button? Oh, you know what? Oh, the email I got from my divorce attorney, that was the trigger .
Anil Gupta (34:19):
So then you could reframe it or change it or get someone else to open that email for you so that you don’t have that trigger. So it’s all about putting systems in place.
Anil Gupta (34:35):
I’ll tell you a funny story. So I was coaching one, one lady and she had a really horrible relationship with her ex. And so whenever her ex called she’d get really upset. So she said, you know what I did. I put your photo on his number so that whenever he called your photo would come up and that would give me a zen position. And I thought that was so funny, but she put in a system, that’s all you have to do, make it work for you. You don’t have to react, but to respond. And that’s the secret people are reacting and the secret is to respond.
Dr Manon (35:15):
And again, that takes that gap, the awareness piece to realize that that’s what you know, or experiencing. It just made me think it’s interesting in the work I do. Or some of the work I do the Bowen therapy. I have found that, that as I work on their pain, their body parts, that sense, there is no such thing as a separation between the body, you know, and the spirit, the mind, the entire it’s all one like often a patient will then express an emotion that comes up. So I’ve been questioning. I do see what you’re saying with thought to emotion, but I do think that we also have emotions that just go through us. They may actually be part of our subconscious that we have not realized, or that as an area is freed up and let’s say that a person has a knee injury. They have, as, as we free that work, the, the emotion comes up of what happened during the accident or what, what was at the root of that. So I question whether it’s just a thought that goes to emotion, it’s been a big debate. I’ve had a long time and because of the bodywork, I’m seeing it sometimes the other way.
Anil Gupta (36:45):
So the way I would look at it is the thought creates the emotion. And if it’s a transient thought, it doesn’t land in the body. Correct. But if it’s a constant thought that the emotion has to land and the body has to find a way to neutralize it. Okay, so the thought creates the emotion. And if it’s a transient thought and a transit emotion, it can dissipate. But if it’s a constant thoughts and it creates a constant feeling or emotion, the body has to deal with it somehow. So it’ll transfer it somewhere. And I know that, you know, the healers know that anger or forgiveness causes disease. So that emotion has to be pushed somewhere in a way to protect the human. So, yes, you’re right. Absolutely.
Dr Manon (38:07):
So now actually, I have another question. I think we’re going to have to wrap it up, but let’s talk about forgiveness again, because that’s a big for me., it’s an interesting question. What is your, what do you think about forgiving as in, you know, I choose to forgive someone or somebody says, you know, something and they forgive me, for example, what do you think about all that? Because I think I have thoughts on this. That might be a little bit different. So I’m just curious, what are yours?
Anil Gupta (38:54):
So I feel forgiveness is the express pathway to freedom. The quality of your life is dependent on the depth and authenticity of the forgiveness you extend to yourself and to others. It’s a big, big, big thing. And if person A wants to forgive person B, they never need to talk to person B never need to have a relationship with them. All the forgiveness is up here in between the ears.
Dr Manon (39:27):
that part, I completely agree with it’s in the end, it’s forgiving. It’s really owning the forgiveness. I find it strange to feel that you to say, I forgive you because it’s that other person’s job to do the job of the self forgiveness. Everything is up to me. It’s, it’s a dance. you know, so it’s like, we’re not in our own house when we’re forgiving. It’s like, we’re playing God. Really? When you’re saying, I forgive you, it’s like, who am I to forgive you? Ultimately, you have to forgive yourself and you have to forgive yourself. Right? There’s, there’s a dance. So I, what do you think of that statement?
Anil Gupta (40:15):
Well, it’s got nothing to do with person B and in fact, forgiveness is slightly different. In my opinion, forgiveness says, I release me. I release you. I release me from you. You had no power over me. That’s the way I teach it. And process that with people, it’s got nothing to do with the other people, the other person, nothing done other in any way whatsoever. You know, you don’t have to say anything to them. You don’t have to write to them. You don’t have to do anything. It’s a matter of, I release you. I let go of you. I remove all attachments and just let you go. I choose to be free.
Dr Manon (40:56):
That to me, that’s much more empowering and it feels like you’re in your own business, in a sense, you’re looking after your, you know, your growth I’ve been asked the question, you know, how do you forgive somebody else? Or how have you told them or how, and it’s like, it has never really occurred to me that way. It’s, it’s letting it go in within you because it’s, it’s your body, your life that gets the, the negative impact of holding it on.
Anil Gupta (41:33):
And it’s a big Thing, really big thing. So we’re going to come to a close. I just, I wanted to ask you if you had any other pieces of wisdom, which has been really powerful. Thank you so much. Anything.
Anil Gupta (41:49):
What I would do, is to perform acts of kindness, be so amazing that you can’t be ignored. Do not worry what other people think of you. It’s none of their business. Find your mission, purpose, and passion. Find your gift and go and serve. And don’t play small because every day you delay someone who’s being hurt. We have a duty to share our gifts. Thank you. That’s really powerful. Thank you. I
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Thank you for joining us. For more information, go to DrManonBolliger.com.