How to Connect with your Child Through Intuitive Parenting with Christine Ramos on The Healers Café with Manon Bolliger
In this episode of The Healers Café, Manon Bolliger (Deregistered naturopathic physician with 30 years of experience in health), talks with Christine Ramos, Author, Holistic Health writer; private breastfeeding classes
Highlights from today’s episode include:
So, you have the seven chakras and you have you know, the from bottom up the root chakra that deals with issues of safety and security. Well, how does that apply to our children and how can we teach them those types of truths? And you have this the sacrum chakra, which deals with one-on-one relationships, and how to honor that and who is the who are the first one on one relationship that the child has? It’s their parents, correct? So, so important to have that is such a stable and safe first relationship. The third chakra we’re talking about the solar plexus and that has everything to do with self-worth and self-esteem and identity. And think about how difficult that is for our children these days, how difficult it is with social media, and how we’ve just heard reports on how young adolescent girls are committing suicide at an alarming rate.
Christine Ramos 09:32
Even your even your pediatrician did not take courses in parenting. So, the best person to know your individual child is you. And the way you do that is by seeing the naked truth of your child. Try not to see your child as a reflection of you reflection of your spouse, this child had a past that goes way, way before this child was even, you know your own child.
Christine Ramos 14:46
It’s been absolutely proven that close skin to skin contact with your child, it has physiological benefits. Now this is not just emotional or mental benefits. This is true physiological benefits for every body system. So, we’re talking digestive system, we’re talking cardio respiratory system, we’re talking about cardiovascular system, we’re talking about neurological systems, immune systems, you name it, the entire body of the baby, the infant, when it is in close proximity, or skin to skin with the caregiver, it helps to regulate and organize all of these systems to an optimal functioning.
ABOUT CHRISTINE RAMOS:
Professionally, Christine is a maternal-child health Registered Nurse who has worked as a Certified Childbirth Educator, Certified Doula, and an Internationally Board-Certified Lactation Consultant. She has earned two baccalaureate degrees. Prior to becoming an RN, Christine was a social worker for ten years in the mental health field. There she worked therapeutically with people who have mental health and substance abuse challenges. In 1996, after having her second son, she felt a call to work with mothers and babies. Soon afterwards, she completed the 69 college credits needed to get a bachelor’s degree in nursing in 1 year. As a hospital RN, Christine worked briefly in cardiac units before specializing in maternal-child health. Before becoming disabled in 2011, Christine worked for the New York City Dept. of Reproductive Health and taught parent education classes at a major NY hospital.
About Manon Bolliger
As a recently De-Registered board-certified naturopathic physician & in practice since 1992, I’ve seen an average of 150 patients per week and have helped people ranging from rural farmers in Nova Scotia to stressed out CEOs in Toronto to tri-athletes here in Vancouver.
My resolve to educate, empower and engage people to take charge of their own health is evident in my best-selling books: ‘What Patients Don’t Say if Doctors Don’t Ask: The Mindful Patient-Doctor Relationship’ and ‘A Healer in Every Household: Simple Solutions for Stress’. I also teach BowenFirst™ Therapy through Bowen College and hold transformational workshops to achieve these goals.
So, when I share with you that LISTENING to Your body is a game changer in the healing process, I am speaking from expertise and direct experience”.
Mission: A Healer in Every Household!
For more great information to go to her weekly blog: http://bowencollege.com/blog.
For tips on health & healing go to: https://www.drmanonbolliger.com/tips
About The Healers Café:
Manon’s show is the #1 show for medical practitioners and holistic healers to have heart to heart conversations about their day to day lives.
Follow us on social media! https://www.facebook.com/thehealerscafe
Welcome to the Healers Cafe. Conversations of health and healing with Manon Bolliger (Deregistered with 30 years of experience in health).
Manon Bolliger 00:18
So welcome to the Healers Cafe. And today I have with me Christine Ramos. And she is a maternal child health registered nurse who has worked as a certified childbirth educator, certified doula, and an internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant. She has our two bachelorette degrees, prior to becoming an RN, Christine was a social worker for 10 years in the mental health field. And while there’s a lot more, but I’m just going to welcome you to this show.
Christine Ramos 00:59
Thank you so much. It was a lovely introduction. And thank you for having me.
Manon Bolliger 01:05
I’m gonna ask you a question that always intrigues me, is what started you down this path? What?
Christine Ramos 01:13
Manon Bolliger 01:14
What made you decide, I’m going to be a nurse, but also specifically, the whole path.
Christine Ramos 01:22
Okay, it’s kind of a long story, but I’ll try to make do the abbreviated version. So, I ever since I can remember, I wanted to be in the helping field. Initially, as you read my bio, it started out initially as wanting to do something in the psychiatric was social work field. And so that’s where I started. And then I had my children. And by the time I had my second son, or by the time I was pregnant with my second son, I realized that there was a calling there, there was some type of a pull to work with mothers and babies. And so, after 10 years of working in the mental health field, I said, you know what, I’m going to take the plunge, I took an accelerated nursing degree course, which was 69 credits in one year, I almost lost my mind. And but I completed it. And I started nursing, I started out initially in cardiac health. And then I went on to maternal child health, and I’ve been doing that ever since. On the personal side. Again, I’ve always known that I wanted to be in the helping field, but I also realized maybe about 12 years old, 13 years old, that I was able to perceive the human energy field. And the way I feel that is as sensations on my skin, and you’ll can also see it clairvoyantly. And when I put all of those things together, the academic studies the actual experience with patients, and the understanding I have and perception of the human energy field. I said, you know what, I’m in a position where I’m looking at children, I’m looking at pregnancy, childbirth, in a whole different way. And so, what when, by the time I had my third child, last child, I realized that there is no work out there with regard to the profound spirituality of bringing new life into this world. And I wanted to take all of that experience and education and write it myself. And that’s exactly what I did. And my book, A Journey into Being really goes into the inherent truths in the chakras. So, you have the seven chakras and you have you know, the from bottom up the root chakra that deals with issues of safety and security. Well, how does that apply to our children and how can we teach them those types of truths? And you have this the sacrum chakra, which deals with one-on-one relationships, and how to honor that and who is the who are the first one on one relationship that the child has? It’s their parents, correct? So, so important to have that is such a stable and safe first relationship. The third chakra we’re talking about the solar plexus and that has everything to do with self-worth and self-esteem and identity. And think about how difficult that is for our children these days, how difficult it is with social media, and how we’ve just heard reports on how young adolescent girls are committing suicide at an alarming rate.
Manon Bolliger 05:20
Christine Ramos 05:20
And you have that. So that’s teachings of the solar plexus, and how important it is to …
teach them how beautiful and how worthy they are, just the way they are. Then you have the heart chakra, which deals with love and forgiveness, but that forgiveness is not only for others, it’s for yourself. So, imagine that the importance of teaching your child, how worthy they are of love, and, and how it’s so important to learn how to forgive yourself throughout any kind of adversities that they have. Then you have the throat chakra, which has to deal with, with the person’s will, and their self-expression. And it’s the bridge between the heart and the mind. And the importance of teaching children how what they have to say is important, and they’re worthy of being heard. Then you have the crown, I’m sorry, the brow chakra that has to do with insight and mental processes. And so how important it is to let your child know that what they envision as their future would, that they can do whatever they put their mind to, they can manifest whatever it is that they see in their future and what they have a natural talent and aptitude for. Then you have the crown chakra. And that has everything to do with how your consciousness and your relationship to whatever you see as a higher power or source or however way you want to phrase it. It could even be your own higher consciousness and your connection to that. So that’s a part of the book and how we can apply those truths to children. And it goes into Atomos. I kind of explain it as you know, the book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s like the most famous and well known popular book for pregnancy chat and childbirth. I always say that my book is kind of the spiritual perspective version of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. And I also go into spiritual dynamics of when, when a child comes into the world, and how it’s more than likely that you were chosen as the parents, and how we go through the lives just basically, in soul groups, and how we honor one another and how we teach each other just spiritual truth truths, and for the purpose of evolving our own souls.
Manon Bolliger 08:25
I love how you use the chakras, each teaching points, you know, because it’s the work that the parents can do. But it’s also the relationship. It’s also the teaching that they can have to the children and recognizing.
Christine Ramos 08:43
Manon Bolliger 08:45
Yes, it’s a brilliant idea to use it.
Christine Ramos 08:48
Manon Bolliger 08:49
Teaching it’s great. Because I guess also describing each part and the relationship to the body to the person. And in a sense in a yeah, in a light that is like we don’t have the books on how to teach. Right, because it isn’t about that it’s really about relating, you know, I feel like that really speaks to…
Christine Ramos 09:18
Yes, yeah. And I always say to my patients, and I say to the people who read my work and that is that there is no such thing as a parenting expert.
Manon Bolliger 09:31
Christine Ramos 09:32
Even your even your pediatrician did not take courses in parenting. So, the best person to know your individual child is you. And the way you do that is by seeing the naked truth of your child. Try not to see your child as a reflection of you reflection of your spouse, this child had a past that goes way, way before this child was even, you know your own child. So, I always like to try to encourage parents to do a type of nurturing a type of parenting that’s called intuitive parenting or intuitive nurturing. And what that entails is simply tapping in to an intuitive bond with your child. And that could start as early as pregnancy. And I talk about how you can connect with your unborn child through different practices. One, of course, is mindfulness and meditation. But there are also these lovely things called Flower Essences. I don’t know if you’re aware of them, or, you know, I’m sure you know about flower essences. And the one in particular is called Forget Me Not and Forget Me Not has properties that say that it’s wonderful for bonding with the soul of your unborn child. And the way you can do that, I mean, you can take it as a tincture under your tongue. Some people are a little uncomfortable with it, because it’s got a very tiny amount of alcohol in every tincture. But you can safely use it in your bathwater, you can do 20 drops in your bathwater, just soak in it for a little bit of time. And when you get out just pat, pat dry your skin. And it’s said to promote these strong connections. And you can even get this connection with your newborn child through dreams, and what I call visitation dreams. And I’ve heard many of my patients say that they’ve had very, very vivid dreams with what they believe was their child, before the child is born. And so, these are all beautiful ways that you can connect with your child before they’re born. And this goes well into, say toddler hood, where if you practice something that’s called kangaroo care, or baby wearing, and those are all methods of just keeping your baby close to you, whenever your baby is in distress, or when your baby is not into in distress. And this promotes a type of intuitive nurturing, where people state that they have such a deep knowing of this child as though they’re looking straight to their soul. And what that does, is it provides a type of parenting that helps this little human become the best that they can be.
Manon Bolliger 13:21
Yeah, oh, you know, it makes it makes sense. And I think in our culture, we don’t do enough hugging, touching. You know, like, this kind of just letting the skin connect, you know. And I remember when I was, at the time, I was actually studying law, and I had my firstborn, I have three children. I would put him on my body, wrap them up under my pncho. And it was like, perfect, right? There’s a true bonding that happens when you’re, you’re more…you’re physically connected, you know? And then he goes so against I remember being raised more by Dr. Spock, you know, let your child I teach them all of this. And I was like, there is not an ounce in my body that could do that. You know, and it’s like, oh, well, you’re going to have you know, a dependent…no, no, you give the child what it means. And you actually foster independence and it’s the opposite,
Christine Ramos 14:36
Exactly. And I can go on a soapbox now and take up an hour or more of your time with that one topic alone. It’s been absolutely proven that close skin to skin contact with your child, it has physiological benefits. Now this is not just emotional or mental benefits. This is true physiological benefits for every body system. So, we’re talking digestive system, we’re talking cardio respiratory system, we’re talking about cardiovascular system, we’re talking about neurological systems, immune systems, you name it, the entire body of the baby, the infant, when it is in close proximity, or skin to skin with the caregiver, it helps to regulate and organize all of these systems to an optimal functioning. So, when I hear things like that, like, oh, you know, we’re working on teaching our child to go to sleep on their own, or to stay asleep on their own. There is a physiological a biological reason why babies wake up, often by when they’re by themselves. And that’s called, it’s a distress signal. Now, that distress signal, is to say, either I’m hungry, or something is wrong with my environment. Now, we, in Western society, especially, we have taken on the notion of trendy type of parenting. And what anthropologists call the type of parenting that we do is cache care. C A C H E care versus carry care. Now carry care is what all primates and higher, the higher thinking animals do for their young. Why, because they’re young, has the brain sizing and capacity that’s not at the level that they can be left alone. They have survival mechanisms that make them such as crying, that make them tell their caregiver, I need you now. I need I’m in distress, something is unfamiliar something is wrong. And so, what we do, especially Western society is we have that whole cache care mentality. And we separate parent and baby. And we do all of these very counterintuitive things like letting them cry, cry it out, when just recently, it’s been proven that part of the distress goal of the baby is to say, it can be even lifesaving. Because babies who have who take a lot of time or are with their caregiver, in close proximity for regular periods of time, they have found that these babies suffer much less from things such as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Commercial Break 18:23
Hi, I’m Dr. M, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for watching these podcasts. If you haven’t subscribed, please do. Also feel free to leave comments and like it. This way more people get to find out about this work and about other choices for health. So, I think it’s really important that that we all share this information, I have a free gift to you. It’s a seven sequence email that has tips for every day, and a little insight about how to live your life when it comes to health. www.DrManonBolliger.com/tips And it’s very much built on how I managed to overcome stage four cancer and what it took. So, I would love you to have this and thank you once again for listening to these podcasts www.DrManonBolliger.com/tips
Christine Ramos 19:26
And other types of potentially dangerous illnesses. So, I don’t understand this type of thinking where you know, pediatricians my own pediatrician would tell me Oh, now it’s time for you to start laying the baby down in the bed and walking away. And I’m thinking to myself, and you know, these are doctors giving this this advice when it’s been proven that doing just the opposite can help avoid something as serious as SIDS. It just blows my mind.
Manon Bolliger 20:08
Well, it’s just, you know, just comes to show too, that, you know, doctors, we have a white coat syndrome, fear, but we also have a white coat syndrome, respect. Which I mean, I, I believe all people should respect all people, but we don’t want to imbue with knowledge that they may not have, right? That’s the thing, if you’re not trained in all of this, you’re not necessarily up to date on every piece of research, right? So, it’s really essential that parents or people take charge of their health, that they become intuitively connected, so that they trust themselves. Because, you know, if you just follow orders, you can end up in a lot of problems.
Christine Ramos 21:04
Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.
Manon Bolliger 21:06
And that’s another, breastfeeding right. That another one, you know, they, tons of research showing that you will have the best immune system if you breastfeed. And, again, maybe it’s to do with the cache system. But, of course, you know, that’s not the way that there’s interest at play as well. But I think, you know, our, that educate these institutions, if you look at the funding of the that we can go there, but the point is, we have to know that.
Christine Ramos 21:44
Yes, and I’ll give you a, I’ll give you a perfect example of that. Up until recently, as a matter of fact, there are still in the United States, a few hospitals that still do this. And that is discharged the new mom with a nice little care package of formula, right? And who sponsors that, of course, it’s the formula companies, and they dress it up in these beautiful diaper bags, with a bunch of free samples and coupons. And all of that now, think about the perception that the new mother is going home with, right? So here, her own health care institution, her own health care facility, is just charging her with this bag of formula. Well, what’s the message you’re giving her? Right? It’s okay, we’re advocating this. We’re actually advocating that you use this because we as your health care providers, we’re giving this to you. So yes, there is a tremendous commercial interest behind all of that type of decision making. And finally, there is something here in the United States. I don’t know if that if you have it, where you’re at, also, it’s called the baby friendly initiative. Have you heard of that?
Manon Bolliger 23:22
I believe it’s called that here. But I’m not…that’s not my field of expertise. So yes, I may not know it.
Christine Ramos 23:30
The baby friendly initiative is step by step implementation of measures to improve breastfeeding outcomes in the hospitals. And it’s instituted by the whole world health organization and for the United States. Also, the CDC is involved. So yeah, it’s a wonderful initiative. I think we are at least in the United States, we are about 60%, I want to say of hospitals, institute Baby Friendly initiative. But we definitely need to raise that number. And with the baby friendly initiative, one of the most important steps, of course, no surprise here is skin to skin contact immediately after birth, and for at least an hour afterwards. And rooming in with the baby, giving the mother and the father as much uninterrupted time as possible with their baby. Whereas before at least I remember when my children were born, they whisked the baby off to the nursery almost immediately. And so yeah, and all of that what that does is empower the mother and empower the father to establish that intuitive bond, and to just basically allow nature to take its course. And so yeah, it’s a good thing. We’re trending in the right direction. I just hope you know that, you know, it continues to go forward.
Manon Bolliger 25:28
And you think you really hit on it when you say in, what’s the message that’s being given? Because when you’re giving a so called solution, now, people think that they’re lacking something or maybe they’re, you know, their milk may not be good enough, or they, it feeds into all of this, instead of realizing that we’re, you know, we are really perfectly made. So, that’s, I think, you know, one of the problems with medicalization, you know, we’re seeing it now with the belief that our immune system isn’t good enough. You know, it’s the same thing where we’re disempowered. We think that solution must come from elsewhere. You know, and so, anyway, because we’re talking about kids, I know, lots of people will listen to this, but I really feel it’s important to when we’re making decisions for our children. Pay attention to all of this, what’s the money behind? What’s the end game? What are the beliefs? You know, if it’s something is experimental, pay attention, you know, like, we need to, we need to question these things, then come up to your own decisions. That’s all good. I believe in you choose, but you need informed choices. And I think, when we don’t have that we tend to follow the white coat syndrome, we tend to follow all of this, and I think this has gotten us in so much trouble.
Christine Ramos 27:17
Yes. And the same actually goes for childbirth, as well. I’m sure you know, that once we medicalize childbirth, and we start implementing interventions, the more interventions you use, the more you’re going to need. Right? So, an example is, let’s say an induction, you get a Pitocin drip, what happens? Your uterine contractions are so much more intense than natural contractions. So, what does that mean? That means your pain will need to be managed at that point. What does that mean? Now you need an epidural. What happens then? Well, epidurals are known to stall contractions and to stall the birthing process. Well, now what? Well, do you need forceps delivery? Well, what if that doesn’t work? Well, do you need a C section? So, it’s definitely a domino effect. And that’s one of those things and not many, you know, unless you specifically go out there and educate yourself about how that works. You’re not going to know, and you’re going to think, okay, well, my pediatrician wants to speed up my labor. Okay, so let’s go ahead with the Pitocin. And let’s go ahead with this. And then before you know it, it’s out of control. And yeah, and I always say to my patients, and I wrote it in the book as well. It’s the baby that decides when it’s going to arrive. Not your pediatrician. I mean, not your obstetrician rather. Your obstetrician is not the one that says, oh, you know what, it’s time for your baby to be born. I mean, obviously, if the baby is in distress, if the baby is more than two weeks overdue, yes, of course, there is a medical indication in those cases, however, if everything is going as it should…why rush. Why? I’ve had patients who actually told me that they’re scheduling a C section on a certain date, because they want to be able to get into a dress that they bought for a wedding in two weeks. I’ve heard people say that they want to schedule a C section because they want to make sure that they get a certain obstetrician on a certain day. So, it’s yeah, it’s all about education. It’s all about letting women know that they have choices and to make these choices with as much education as possible.
Manon Bolliger 30:25
Just talking with this reminds me of, I remember when I, when I got my first child, I was told that I absolutely would need a cesarean. And they said, oh, the size of my hips, were too small. So, I thought, okay, but I traveled a lot. So, I’ve gone to Asia, I’ve seen other small hip people do it just fine. So, I’m thinking what’s going on here. So, I actually, I was very stubborn. So I went, and I actually got eight opinions. All of them said the same thing. So, what it is, I actually saw eight doctors with the same opinion. Because in their learning, they had learned that passed this, whatever it was, I don’t know the exact size I was supposed to be, it wouldn’t work. And that is actually what got me to, to get a while I had already a midwife. But it convinced me to have a home birth. Because I thought if I go, I’m going to have no choice, because that is the predominant belief system. And so, I ended up you know, preparing myself, I read tons about it. And my firstborn was born in seven and a half hours, no problem. You know, one was like, and this is why when you say you’re also teaching people to be intuitive, and the intuitive connection, it’s really important, because when you know, in, your heart, you know in every cell in your body, that it’s right, or that the other method is not right for you. Now, I’m not saying it can be a life saving measure. So, it’s not about the thing. It’s about the connection with you. Is it the right thing for you, your child at this moment, you know, and so I think it’s so important to look at the world that way?
Christine Ramos 32:32
Yeah, that’s an interesting story you just said so. So, the outcome was saved for mom and baby.
Manon Bolliger 32:38
Christine Ramos 32:40
Wow, that’s wonderful.
Manon Bolliger 32:41
Christine Ramos 32:42
I love that story.
Manon Bolliger 32:43
And it actually turned out as it because this I was born in Montreal, there was the biggest storm they’ve ever had. And my car was completely covered all the cars we couldn’t see anything. It was a crazy storm, there would have been no way out of my apartment. Had I actually had to go. So, thank God, that I had already made my decision that it was already aligned, you know, and that I was otherwise I would have been petrified, freaked out. And as it turns out, in quite a predicament, you know, so? It probably would have still happened but the deep knowing that it feels right is so essential to the end results. You know, if you’re not…if you feel you’re doing something that’s not right, and you’re scared. Right, then it’s very hard to relax and give birth when you’re petrified.
Christine Ramos 33:47
Manon Bolliger 33:49
Yeah. So, the mental state, the spiritual state, all of that matters so much. We need to wrap up. So, I’m going to leave you with the last share that you would like to have.
Christine Ramos 34:02
Um, I just think it’s so important to, especially nowadays, to know and nurture our children as spirit to nurture them as the brilliant, eternal soul that they are, because they’re here. It’s the art. It’s these generations that are coming up, that are going to help us through all of this craziness. And I really believe that and the more we nurture their spirit, the more we align them with what they’ve come here for and that is to hopefully raise our consciousness and raise the collective consciousness and get us out of the troubles that we’ve been in such as climate change. troubles and divisiveness and yeah, all the all of that stuff we’re seeing now.
Manon Bolliger 35:08
Well, thanks very much, Christy, for being on this with me.
Christine Ramos 35:13
No, my pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Thank you for joining us at the Healers Café with Manon Bolliger, for more information go to: www.DrManonBolliger.com
* De-Registered, revoked & retired naturopathic physician, after 30 years of practice in healthcare. Now resourceful & resolved to share with you all the tools to take care of your health & vitality!